T. R. Girill Society for Technical Communication/Lawrence Livermore Nat. Lab. (retired) [email protected]
Technical Writing: Vocabulary Choices Influence Reader Attention
Recent empirical research comparing different headlines for the same newspaper story reveals its key result in its title: 'Reading Dies in Complexity' (Hillary Shulman and others, Science Advances, 5 June 2024, vol.10, eadn2555, 8 pages). Using standard measures (readability scores, character count) to gauge a headline's linguistic complexity, Hillary Shulman's team found that the 'click-through rate' (to retrieve the associated news story) was significantly less when headlines were verbally complex. Their explanation: 'overwhelmingly, general readers are economical with their attention,' on which verbally complex headlines and stories place greater demands. But this finding contains within it a solution strategy: 'small-scale efforts aimed at increasing the simplicity or fluency of language can increase the attention of casual readers' to factual text.
Some writers who appreciate this advice in the abstract nevertheless have trouble carrying it out. Fortunately, there is a tool to get them started. A real-life case shows how.
An Authentic Case
A recent (free) publication of the U.S. National Academy of Sciences vividly illustrates both the relevance of this 'attention management' strategy and the need to apply it to boost text impact. In June, 2024, the Academy issued a report that deserves wide readership but may never get it because of careless vocabulary choices, especially in the title (which influences readership just like a newspaper headline).
This 2024 report discusses how climate change has complicated the health-and-safety task of guessing how much rain and snow that any geographic area can absorb each season. Unfortunately, the report ended up with the attention-swamping title 'Modernizing Probable Maximum Precipitation Estimation' (nap.nationalacademies.org/ read/27460, June 2024, free online).
PMP (probable maximum precipitation) is a standard weather term and its abbreviation. But featuring it in a report title is probably not the best way to connect this important technical topic with a broad public decision-making audience.
Crafting a Textual Alternative
Here is where the writer-aid tool, easily available to any student, comes into play. The tool is called an intermediate dictionary. An intermediate dictionary includes almost as many entries as a regular dictionary (about 10,000), but each is defined using only words that an eighth-grade reader can understand (several brands are in print). Using an intermediate dictionary transforms the words in the PMP report title along these lines: 'probable' becomes 'likely,' 'maximum' becomes 'largest,' 'precipitation' becomes 'rainfall,' and 'estimation' becomes 'guess.' So this helps the writer--including any student--develop an alternative report title, such as 'Guessing the largest likely rainfall.'
The revised version makes the relevant technical point with much smaller demands on reader attention. Then, with the reader engaged, the formal PMP abbreviation can emerge to gently connect the technical discussion to the problem's more formal analysis and vocabulary.
Everyone wants students who write about science to learn and display appropriate technical vocabulary. But as the above empirical study reveals, 'appropriate' has an audience aspect as well as a field/content aspect. Going overboard is apparently easy, and reader disengagement is often the result--not good in school or (as the National Academy case shows) in life.
[For a big-picture overview of effective technical text, see http://writeprofessionally.org/techlit/handbooktoc For more on how students can design effective text, see http://writeprofessionally.org/techlit/usability]
|