As editions of textbooks age, we are all forced to reexamine the universe of books and select one to use for three to four semesters. After 30 years of selecting textbooks, the author is still confronted with the fundamental question: Why is it so difficult to select an effective introductory-level biology text? The answer to this question is revealed in this month’s column, along with the reasons why adjectives along the lines of the famous “spaghetti” westerns—the good, the bad, and the ugly—can be assigned to the different types of introductory biology college texts.